Drowning Your Sorrows
by Palexiot
Summary: Palex! Paige tries to outrun her problems by hiding in a bottle. Can Alex pull her out before it's too late?
1. Looks Better Off Than She Is

**A/N: I hate spoilers and love them at the same time. This story is based on a spoiler that was thrown out about Season 7. I'll be playing with it as well as the current storyline and putting my own spin on things. I don't anticipate this being a long story, but hopefully you'll enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Jay Hogart was not a nice guy. Not even by his own standards. So why he was about to do any favors for the blonde Cheerbitch of Doom he didn't know. All he did know was that he was standing outside of Degrassi Community School waiting for Alex to get out so he could talk to her.

He didn't have to wait long to see his raven-haired former girlfriend stomp out of the school looking not only like she might kill someone, but do it with a song in her heart. Again he wondered at the good deed he was about to perform. But seeing Lexi's look and knowing the shit kicking he would receive if he didn't tell her what was going on, well he couldn't just let it go.

"Lexi!" He called to her as he raced to catch up.

She barely turned to acknowledge him.

"What do you want Jay?" There was no trace of her usual attitude, only the anger and the exhaustion that hovered just underneath.

Once Jay caught up to her he took in her haggard look and knew immediately its cause. All the more reason for him to be here.

"You need to come with me for a minute." He stated simply as he took her arm.

"First of all, I have work to do and second I'm a lesbian Jay and want no part in whatever it is you need. I mean come on, where's Mel can't she help you?" Alex sneered as she tried to pull her arm away.

"I'm aware of both your reasons Alex, and as for Mel she is helping me right now." Jay said calmly as he kept moving towards his car, his grip on her arm gentle but still strong.

"What is she packing the drugs for you?" A black eyebrow rose mockingly.

Finally Jay stopped and whirled Alex around to face him. She was shocked to see a serious look on his face for once and even more shocked at his next words.

"No Lexi, right now she's down at Zanzibar trying to keep _your_ girlfriend from drowning herself in tequila."

"What? No way, Paige would never drink like that." Alex said shaking her head fiercely.

Jay looked at Alex somberly for a moment and then began to walk again. He didn't speak as they got to the car and he opened the passenger side door motioning for her to get in.

He settled himself behind the wheel and turned to her, no trace of his usual mockery or pervy self. He was a troubled man right now and unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Normally Paige might not drink like this, but I don't know, something's happened Alex. She needs you and I'm here to bring you to her."

"Why Jay?" The question was quiet and he almost didn't hear it over the sound of his engine starting.

Shifting gears he backed out of the spot he was parked in and shrugged silently.

"I'm not sure Lex, I just know how much it'd hurt you if something were to happen to Paige."

Silence hung in the car, a heavy deafening kind of silence that left Alex gasping for air. She jumped when Jay spoke again.

"Whatever else you think you know Alex, Paige loves you. Of course I only know this because she kept repeating it over and over for a full five minutes while waiting for the bartender to bring her another drink."

"Why didn't you stop her? Bring her to me instead of waiting for me to get out of class?" Alex asked and winced at the look Jay shot her.

"Are you kidding me? Paige would have been screaming rape the minute I even laid a hand on her."

Alex gritted her teeth at Jay's statement. It was a harmless remark but it stung all the same when she thought about what she knew of Paige's experience.

As they continued to drive it started to rain and Jay flicked on the windshield wipers, the squeak of them forcing the rain from glass was the only sound in the car as Alex was left alone with her thoughts.

It didn't take long for them to reach the club but before they could even make a proper stop Mel came racing out of the building a look of utter horror on her face. Her mascara was streaked and it was obvious she was terrified.

"Mel, what is it? What happened?" Jay barked at her trying to penetrate the haze of panic that had enveloped the blonde.

"It's Paige, she's gone." Alex just stared at Mel in disbelief as the rain continued to pour down around them.

"What the hell do you mean she's gone? I left you to watch her until I could get Alex."

Mel shot Jay a venomous look before turning back to Alex.

"I'm sorry; Vlad came over and started harassing me about neglecting my tables. I tried to explain what was going on but he just started chewing me out and by the time I got back over to where I'd left her she was gone."

"How drunk was she Mel?" Alex's gaze hardened as Mel looked away. "How drunk Mel? Tell me!"

"She was trashed Alex. I don't think she would even be able to tell you her name right now." Mel looked guiltily at the other girl.

Alex shook her head and slammed her hand against the dashboard.

"I don't believe this. I don't fucking believe this!" The brunette placed her hand over her eyes to try and compose herself.

"Alex, we should probably go get her. She's got a pretty good lead on us." Mel said reaching for the door handle.

Alex looked back up and turned to her coworker. Her stillness was eerie and the look on her face was completely unreadable. When she spoke her words were calm, too calm.

"Mel, did Paige drive here?" At the blonde's nod Alex seemed to tense for a second and then relax again. "Get in Mel."

Mel scurried to get in the car before she got any wetter, not that that was really possible as she was already soaked.

"I'm sorry Alex, really." Mel said as Jay peeled away from the curb.

"I just don't understand it. What would push her to go this far?" The confusion was too much for Alex and she rested her head against the window, her eyes staring intently out trying to catch any glimpse of Paige's car. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"She's pretty messed up Alex." Came Mel's soft reply. "I mean you weren't kidding when you said Paige looks better off than she is. When I met her she seemed so together, a bit bitchy and judgmental, but she seemed to have a grip on things. But today, "Mel shook her head, "today she just seemed so lost."

"Did she say anything to you Mel? I mean besides how much she loved Alex." Jay asked quietly his eyes focused on the road.

"Not a whole lot. She just kind of sat there and stared at her drink most of the time."

Alex sighed and tried to gather her thoughts.

'_Come on Paigey, where are you?'_ She asked silently.

Suddenly brake lights ahead caught Alex's attention. They belonged to a car that had careened off the road and onto the shoulder. Alex felt her pulse quicken as she recognized the vehicle.

"Jay that's her. Get over there now." Her tone was urgent and Jay wasted no time in complying.

As soon as they pulled up beside the other car Alex jumped out heedless of the rain and the mud.

"Paige! Paige open the door." Alex yelled pounding on the window.

The door swung open soundlessly and Paige looked at her with a glazed expression.

"What do you want Alex?" She asked tiredly.

Alex balked for a moment, unaware that she was shivering as the rain soaked into her clothes.

"What do I want?" She hissed, her voice trembling with too much emotion. "What do I want? Paige, I want to know what the fuck you think you're doing getting plastered and then getting behind the wheel."

Alex was trying to remain calm but the toll this was taking on her especially with the deadened stare that Paige was leveling at her didn't make it easy.

"Paige! Answer me damn it! What is going on?" She was practically screaming now.

"Get in the car Alex, you'll catch cold." Was all she got in return.

Frustration took over Alex's movements and she reached in and unbuckled the blonde's seatbelt and yanked Paige out of the car by her wrist. Paige stumbled a bit but managed to stay moderately upright. Still holding onto her Alex dragged the other woman to the passenger side of the car and opened the door shoving Paige unceremoniously inside. Once Paige was back in the car she slammed the door shut with all the force she could muster. She stomped back to the driver's side and threw herself behind the wheel pulling her own door shut behind her.

"You could've been killed Paige. You could've been killed or you could've killed someone else." Alex growled through gritted teeth.

"Well nobody got hurt so can we please just go home?" Came the slightly slurred reply.

"Fine." Alex bit off. "But when we get home we are going to talk."

Paige snorted in a decisively unPaige-like way. "Whatever."

Not able to come up with a reply that didn't involve a slew of words that she refused to say in front of Paige, Alex decided to keep her mouth shut and just concentrate on driving.

**Jay's Car**

"You think they'll be ok?" Mel asked shifting up to the front passenger seat.

Jay shrugged as he watched Paige's car pull away. "I dunno. Lexi's already had to deal with a drunk for a mother, I'm not sure she can deal with having a drunk for a girlfriend too."

"You're too hard on her you know." Mel said looking out the window at the falling rain."

"Too hard on who?"

"On Paige, her life's not all sunshine and rainbows."

Jay let out a bark of laughter. "Right, Paige knows what hard times are? Sure Mel, sure."

Mel shot him a look he couldn't read.

"Did she say something to you? I thought you said she just mainly stared at her drink the whole time."

Sighing slightly Mel shifted in her seat.

"Yeah well, what she told me wasn't something for me to repeat to Alex. It's something she's got to say herself."

"Care to enlighten me?" Jay asked as he started the car and turned on the heat as he noticed Mel trembling.

"I don't know her at all Jay, but after today I kind of do at the same time. I don't know, I think if I say anything it'd be betraying her or something." Mel sighed again. "I know it sounds stupid, it's just there's a lot of old wounds she keeps hidden and I guess it's not really my place to expose them to everybody."

"So I get nothing?" Jay pestered.

"No, sorry you don't."

"Great."

TBC….


	2. Conditional Love

**A/N: Wow, this chapter was longer than I expected it to be. I know, I know, we still haven't gotten to the root of Paige's issue. But don't worry it will come but there's still more to deal with. Enjoy and please don't forget to leave a review. Thank you all!**

The drive home had been quiet. Paige had been huddled against the door with her eyes closed. To anyone who didn't know her well she would have looked at peace, but Alex knew better. She had caught the faint twitch at the corner of Paige's eye and the way her mouth turned down slightly.

Pulling into a parking spot Alex sighed and turned off the car. She looked over at Paige only to see that she was being watched intently. Paige was the first to speak.

"Alex, I know you're angry," she paused at Alex's look, "ok I know you're pissed. And I know you're worried about me, but don't be ok? I don't know what happened today but it's not going to happen again and I would really appreciate it if we could just let it go."

Alex goggled at her. Paige had to be drunker than she originally appeared if she thought Alex was just going to let this slide.

"Don't be worried about you? Paige, I had Jay, of all people _Jay,_ come and get me because you were drinking yourself stupid in the middle of the afternoon while his girlfriend babysat you. Then you get into your car and manage to drive it off the side of the road, thankfully before anyone got hurt, and you want me to just drop it?"

Paige reached over and took Alex's hand in her own. Her ever changing eyes had settled on an olive tone and were filled with so many emotions Alex couldn't quite put her finger on any of them.

"Please Alex, just let it go ok? I need you to just forget this happened. I want to forget about all this."

Alex gently freed her hand from Paige's and used it to run her fingers lightly through Paige's hair. Locking on the back of the other girl's neck Alex brought their foreheads together gently. She sighed at the feeling even that little contact ignited in her and she felt Paige's breath on her lips.

"Promise me; promise me Paige that you won't ever do this again ok. Please, I need your word that you won't ever do something this stupid again."

She pulled back and looked the blonde squarely in the eye. Paige nodded her assent. When she smiled though, it didn't reach her eyes and the green hue was still clouded by some unknown worries that Alex couldn't even begin to fathom.

"I love you Paige, I can't lose you. I can be without you, much as it sucks, but I can't _lose_ you."

"I know Alex, I'm so sorry. I love you too. I promise I won't do something like this again."

Loosening her grip on Paige's neck, Alex ran her hand around to the front of her throat and down her collarbone. With feather-light touches she skimmed across Paige's skin, delighting in the way it made the other girl's eyes close as she began to relax. She smiled to herself when Paige leaned into her touch even further. Deciding to push things a bit more Alex brought her other hand up to Paige's neck and began a slow massage, dragging her thumbs across Paige's collarbones before moving them up to run along the column of her throat. After drawing circles there her thumbs moved down below the clavicle and she ran her digits across the breastbone kneading away the tension there. Alex laughed softly as Paige unconsciously arched her back in a silent plea for the hands to move just a bit lower. Instead Alex began the process all over again, repeated it until Paige grabbed her hands and pulled them to her chest holding them so that Alex could feel the way her heart was pounding.

Slowly her eyes began to open and Alex saw that they were now a vibrant aqua, sparkling with need. The haze from the alcohol was still there but it served only to cause Paige's eyes to droop slightly, adding to the seduction. Their breathing was heavier than usual and it wasn't long before each breath began to sync together as they stared into each other's eyes. The silence was interminable laced with a tension that had been absent these last few weeks.

Taking her opportunity Paige leaned in and placed a fleeting kiss on Alex's lips before pulling away slightly. The brunette groaned in dissatisfaction at the short contact and brought her head forward to close the gap between them once more. The kiss stayed chaste, both of them feeling out the other trying to gauge how far this was going to go. Their lips met again and again seeking solace, comfort and to sate the hunger they both were feeling. Alex's tongue snuck out and lapped at Paige's mouth and she gasped at the taste of salt, tequila and lime mixed with Paige. She gripped the blonde's bottom lip between her teeth and sucked the last traces of the tequila shooters from Paige's skin. She took the chance to deepen the kiss when Paige moaned and once her tongue was mingled with other girl's Alex felt her head begin to swim. Apparently what Alex had tasted before had merely been a preview to what lay behind those incredible, skilled lips. Alex was drowning and she felt Paige's own need transfer over to her as hands began to roam; mouths were torn free of each other only to place fiery kisses along exposed flesh.

Paige's mouth had found one of Alex's sensitive spots just below her ear and she latched on, drawing the skin between her lips and then sinking her teeth down slightly. The suction made Alex's pulse pound and her hands slithered under the other girl's top, but Paige grabbed Alex's wrists pulling her hands away from the silky skin and holding them immobile as she continued her ministrations to Alex's neck. Alex sighed softly, this was a common occurrence and she was always disappointed at first, but she knew that soon Paige would become so enthralled with what she was doing to Alex that she would cease to protest.

"I love you." She whispered into golden locks and she felt Paige's grip tighten and then relax. She pulled back, her flaxen hair mussed slightly, breathing rapid and her lips swollen and looking thoroughly kissed. She smiled at Alex and kissed her softly. Their movements were less harried than before and Paige pulled away from Alex while cupping her face in her hands and looking her square in the eye.

"I love you too Alex. You're -" She stopped her eyes sliding away almost guiltily. It was the same pause as when Alex had professed her love for Paige the first time. She seemed to stop herself from returning the declaration and instead made the excuse that she needed to go back inside and then she turned and walked away from Alex.

"You're so incredible Alex."

The result was infinitely better than last time and the statement was completely sincere but Alex couldn't help but wish Paige had simply finished the thought. Instead of pressing the matter she pulled away from Paige her insides feeling immediately barren as they broke contact. Paige's eyes registered confusion but Alex smiled reassuringly.

"We can't really finish this in your car Paige, much as we both might want to. Besides, we should probably get some food into you and let you rest a bit." Paige began to protest the last bit but Alex placed an affectionate finger against her lips. "Don't worry; we can finish this later ok? I'd just feel a lot better if you had some rest before we do anything too…" she grinned wolfishly "strenuous." Paige giggled outright and hugged Alex to her.

"Ok, come on before the neighbors start complaining about improper PDAs or whatever." Paige said pulling back and reaching for the door.

She threw a dazzling smile at Alex that had the dark haired woman regretting her decision to stop, but she pushed that down in favor of her concern for her girlfriend. She got out of the car and hurried over to Paige's side intent on offering aid should it be required. Stumbling only slightly the tipsy woman made her way out of the vehicle and grabbed onto Alex's proffered hand. Slowly the two made their way to the front door of their home, neither registering the rain that continued to pour down upon them.

When they got inside they were immediately met by their housemate Marco. He seemed to be slightly panicked as he came rushing over to them asking a million questions.

"Where have you two been, it's pouring out there. You guys are soaked, go get changed before you catch cold. Alex what happened, are you guys all right? Is that a hickey on your neck? Paige, are you drunk??"

Paige moved away from Alex and started heading upstairs to get changed and lie down for a little while. Alex in the meantime had seen their other housemate Ellie's head shoot up the minute Marco had asked if Paige was drunk. She had a strange expression on her face as she regarded first Alex and then the direction in which Paige had gone.

Deciding to ignore the look Alex made her way to the kitchen to find something for Paige to eat. She opened the refrigerator and had barely had a chance to glimpse inside before the door was shoved closed once more. Alex looked up into a pair of flashing brown eyes.

"Can I help you Ellie?" Alex drawled slightly surprised by the redhead's actions.

"What's going on Alex? Why is Paige drunk off her ass in the middle of the afternoon?"

Alex was very confused now and despite the high she had received during that make-out session with Paige she was starting to feel the effects of the emotionally charged day.

"I don't know Ellie. Jay just came and got me and told me that Paige was drunk over at Zanzibar and that I needed to get over to her. I did and I drove her home and now she's going to rest."

Alex conveniently left out the part where Paige had driven away while so heavily intoxicated, she figured Ellie was already pissed enough for whatever reason.

"Ok, but _why_ was she out getting drunk?" Ellie queried.

Marco had come up behind her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder but Ellie ignored his presence. She continued to stare Alex down and Alex found herself mildly intimidated, not since the first time she met Paige had she felt so small.

"I don't know. I asked her and she told me it wouldn't happen again and asked me to drop it. So I am."

Ellie's mouth fell open and even Marco's eyebrows drew together in confusion.

"Alex, come on, you can't… no _we_ can't just let this slide. I mean this is so totally unlike Paige. Do you have any idea what's going on?" Marco asked quietly.

Alex had opened the refrigerator again to peer at the contents but slammed it shut as she continued to be barraged with questions.

"I don't know damn it! I don't know what's going on with her, she won't tell me and I refuse to push her any further into whatever it is she's going through by badgering her about it. You think I like having to have Jay come and get me to tell me that Paige is so upset and so unable to talk to me that she's hiding in the bottom of a bottle? You think I like looking at her and knowing she's hiding stuff from me? Do you think that I wouldn't give anything to have her sit down and _talk_ to me?"

Ellie's eyes had softened during Alex's rant and she placed a consoling hand on her arm. Alex looked at her starkly before posing a few questions of her own.

"Why are you so upset about this anyway Ellie? It's not like she's your girlfriend. Besides aren't you still mad at her about the whole Jesse thing?"

Ellie shook her head and removed her hand folding her arms across her chest.

"I care because I know what these signs mean Alex. I care because she's my friend and I don't want to see her self-destructing like this. And no, I'm not mad at her anymore over Jesse. I'm with him and she's with you. We're all a lot happier now… sort of anyway. And I don't know," she shrugged thrusting her hands in her pockets "I just think maybe her speed dating thing was kind of a prelude to this."

"You know you guys, maybe instead of trying to come up with these answers on our own and getting frustrated with each other, maybe we should go talk to Paige." Marco suggested making a move to the stairs.

Both Alex and Ellie just stared at him and he stopped in mid-stride.

"Umm… aren't we going to talk to Paige? She's upstairs as in not here with us." Marco pointed feebly towards the second floor.

Alex sighed and ran her hands through her hair.

"No, I want her to rest and I promised her I would drop it. I'm not going back on that as long as she keeps her end of the deal."

Ellie drew her mouth into a thin line and stared hard at the floor. She stood still for a long time and when she spoke it was so quietly the others had to strain to hear her.

"Well I didn't make her any promises Alex, when she's up to it I'm going to talk to her."

"Ellie please, don't get involved." Alex asked tiredly.

"I already am involved Alex. You may be willing to watch her throw everything away, but I'm not."

Ellie moved to walk away but Alex grabbed her arm spinning her back around forcefully. The look in her eyes was a tragic mix of anger and desperation.

"Don't you ever question my feelings for her again Ellie." Alex growled her eyes flashing. "You think I don't know she basically played me? You think I don't know that with those puppy dog eyes she manipulated me into promising her something I hate myself for agreeing to? Do not get involved in this right now Ellie. It's not your place; I'll deal with it when I have to."

Marco moved a hand between his two housemates and gently released Alex's grip on Ellie's arm. His voice was soothing and he spoke to each of them in turn.

"Alex, it's ok. We know you love Paige. Nobody is questioning that. And you're right, if there's one thing Paige is good at it's manipulating people especially when there's something she doesn't want to face. But we need to keep an eye on her. And maybe try to talk about whatever is going on with her, not necessarily about why she's drinking but about anything that's going on in her life. Just let her know we're there for her if she needs us." He turned to Ellie next. "I know it's hard Ellie. But you have to trust me when I say we should go ahead with what Alex wants right now. Yes, Paige needs us as her friends, but she needs her space right now as well and I think we should respect that. But like I said, we _all_ need to keep an eye on her. Agreed?" The last bit was said to both of them and he smiled when they both nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry Alex; I'm just worried that's all. I didn't mean to imply that you're not or that you don't care." Ellie said looking sheepish.

"It's all right Ellie. I get it, really and I appreciate your concern." Alex let out a bark of laughter as she shook her head disbelievingly. "I am truly amazed at the power of that woman."

The others regarded her quizzically and she hastened to explain.

"Paige is the one that acted irresponsibly and yet here we are yelling at each other and agreeing to let it slide. It's incredible, it really is. How does she do it?"

"Simple," Marco grinned. "She's Paige."

The girls joined him in cautious laughter as they all set about getting food together for themselves and for Paige. Each of them seeking to put this behind them while silently promising to help their friend however they could.

**Mel's Apartment**

After being dropped off by Jay Mel walked into her apartment and began removing her wet clothes. She grabbed some sweats and pulled them on shivering as the air in her apartment met her cold skin. Once dressed she wandered out to her living room and sat down on her couch pulling her legs up underneath her.

She thought back to earlier that day as she sat with Paige at the bar. A look of pure desolation on the girl's face. She had looked at Mel pleadingly, as though asking her to take away her pain. Mel had sat with her, listening to a voice that was so bereft of emotion that it left her feeling disturbed. She wondered if Alex and Paige had talked or if Alex had allowed Paige to distract her and drop the issue all together.

Mel remembered the last thing Paige had said before Vlad had pulled the waitress away. She had looked so forlorn and sad that it nearly broke Mel's jaded heart and in that moment she saw what it was that drew Alex to this woman. Despite the strength and fire she presented to everybody, this beauty was ravaged by her own demons that were only now just beginning to surface.

"_Everyone thinks it's so easy being me. I know there are people out there who have it way tougher than I do, but still it's really hard knowing that love can be so conditional. Knowing that it's only bestowed upon you because you earned it by being what they wanted. Knowing that the minute you fuck up it's all just going to disappear."_

"Don't let her fool you Alex. She needs you now, more than ever." Mel whispered as a lone tear made its way down her cheek.

TBC


	3. Nightmares

**A/N: This first bit was intense to write and it took me a while to figure out how it all would play out but I like it. Please Read and Review. Thanks for your patience on the update. Enjoy!**

"_Dean no! Dean stop, get off! I said no. Stop please!" Hands like stone pressed into her sides, pushing her harder and harder against the bed. Her cries ignored by him and unheard by anyone else._

Paige tossed and turned as her nightmares continued to press down on her. The memories of that night and those of conversations overheard and from someone she never expected. Her breath quickened with each new image until she was barely breathing at all as she continued to live this hell.

"_I can't believe this happened. I mean how could this have happened?"_

"_She should have never been at that party. Dressed like that, coming onto a boy far too old for her. What else did she think was going to happen?"_

Alex watched as her lover twitched and cried out in her sleep. She longed to pull the other girl into her arms, but she knew that the terror that seized her now would prevent her from knowing who it was that was holding her. Alex had turned the lights on as soon as the nightmare started and now she waited; her heart in her throat as she watched tears course down Paige's cheeks and listened as her breathing came in short shallow bursts. Finally with a cry Paige bolted upright, her eyes shooting open and her arms encircling herself.

"Paige." Alex called cautiously as she moved into view. "Paige baby, it's ok. You're ok."

Paige looked at her, eyes red and swollen and still shedding tears. And just like the last two nights this had happened she flung herself at Alex and allowed the brunette to hold her, crooning softly in her ear.

Sobs wracked the tormented girl's frame as she clutched onto Alex as though she would fall otherwise. She buried her head into the crook of her comforter's neck and let the tears try to wash away the sadness and the fear. But deep inside, in that hollow place she rarely ever acknowledged, she knew that it would never end.

After some time Alex gently pried herself away from Paige and took the blonde's face in her hands in order to look her in the eye. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face and wiped away some stray tears. She took a deep breath before speaking.

"Paige, tell me please. Tell me what's wrong." Alex pleaded. Her eyes bore into Paige's noting the sapphire hue contrasting with the bloodshot red..

But like she always did, Paige turned her eyes away. And as always, Alex caught the look of shame that passed over her features. Sighing, Alex got up from the bed and walked quietly out of the room and down the hallway to the stairs. She padded downstairs and into the kitchen where she found Ellie waiting for her with a glass of water. Apparently Paige's cries had awoken the redhead.

"Anything?" Ellie asked in a low voice as she handed the glass over.

"No, nothing. She just shuts me out like she's been doing." Alex tried to control the bitterness that she heard in her voice but there was no denying she was upset.

She wanted to be supportive and help her girlfriend, but said girlfriend was plagued by nightmares and she wouldn't even try to talk about them with Alex. She just cried for awhile and then acted as though none of it has ever happened. And forget about bringing it up the next day as that would only get her a visit from "Hyper Paige", who would chatter on and on about nothing until Alex either walked away in frustration or told her to forget she asked.

"Alex, this can't keep happening. It's not healthy. Not for you and not for her either. If she won't talk to us we need to get her help. I mean between the nightmares and her drinking, it's only going to get worse if we don't do something." Ellie murmured as she leaned against the counter.

"I know Ellie, I know. But what can I do when she keeps shutting me out?" Alex dragged her hand through her tousled hair and then ran it down her face, stopping to rub her tired and aching eyes. "Three nights Ellie. It's been like this for three nights and she won't say a word about it."

Ellie looked down for a moment and then back up. She seemed to be mulling something over.

"When you two were together before, was it ever like this? I mean did she ever have these kinds of nightmares?"

Alex thought back on their time together the first time around. She thought back to the nights she spent at the Michalchuk's with her arms wrapped around Paige. She tried to remember if there had ever been anything like this before. And it hit her.

"It was in May, middle of I think. It was like this only a little bit different. She didn't cry, she just sat there and shook. When she calmed down she asked me to get her a glass of water and I found Dylan sitting at the kitchen table." Alex swallowed as she recalled the conversation she had with her girlfriend's older brother.

"He'd been sitting in the dark and when I turned on the light he nearly scared me to death. God Ellie, I've never seen him look so mad before. I was getting a little freaked out; I mean first Paige's breakdown and then finding Dylan sitting in the dark looking like he wanted to kill somebody."

Alex stopped again, not sure how much Ellie knew about certain – things. She looked up to see the other girl regarding her mildly. She decided to continue as much as she felt was necessary.

"He seemed to calm down a bit when he saw it was me and he asked me what I was doing awake. I sat down and told him about Paige's nightmare. I swear he was ready to start crying. I really didn't get what was going on. "He seemed to calm down a bit when he saw it was me and he asked me what I was doing awake. I sat down and told him about Paige's nightmare. I swear he was ready to start crying. I really didn't get what was going on. He told me that it was sort of a monthly thing, it had been happening every month since -."

"You mean the rape." There was no question, only statement.

"You know? I wasn't sure. And it didn't seem like mine to tell-" Alex trailed off as she realized she was babbling. Breathing in deeply she continued. "I don't know what it is that triggered it then or what it is that's doing it now. I mean apparently it happened in October of grade 9. I went upstairs and asked her about it. And she told me some of it, but it was pretty obvious there was a lot more to the story. Even still, I wanted to kill him. But it helped me understand a few things."

"Things like what?" Ellie asked automatically and then blushed. "Not to pry or anything."

Alex smiled slightly and placed her hand on Ellie's shoulder briefly.

"I won't go into detail, but it helped me understand why we never took things all the way. And why she was always more apt to – give than to receive." Alex looked up to gauge her friend's reaction. If anything she seemed to be blushing even harder than before.

"I see. But what about now? I don't get it. She hasn't been having nightmares up til now and we're almost into January, so why is she having the same issues?"."

Alex sighed heavily and walked to the sink to dump the water she was holding. She knew that in the time that she and Ellie had been talking the water had become tepid and Paige hated tepid water. As she refilled the glass from the tap she thought about Ellie's questions.

"I don't know what it is Ellie, but I have to find out. Whatever it is, it's killing her inside and I don't know how much more she can take." Shaking her head sadly, Alex made her way to the stairs. Turning back she regarded the other girl. "Thanks for the water." She said before heading back up to the second floor.

When she got back to the room Alex pushed the door open slowly and smiled a little when she saw Paige still awake and waiting for her.

"What took you so long?" She asked; her voice scratchy from the tears.

"Ellie and I got to talking. Here, I got you some water." Alex answered walking to the bed with her arm outstretched.

Paige took the glass offering a soft thank you and drained its contents in a few long gulps. After placing the glass on the nightstand she motioned for Alex to join her on the bed again. Once the other girl had made herself comfortable on the bed again Paige snuggled up to her side and kissed her softly on the cheek.

"I know I'm a trial Alex. I know these nightmares are just as hard on you as they are on me and I'm sorry."

Before Alex could stop herself she blurted out, "If you're sorry then tell me what's wrong."

The demand was left hanging in the air and Alex kicked herself mentally as she felt Paige jerk away.

"I – I can't Alex. I just- I can't. I – I…" Paige stuttered.

Losing her patience Alex turned and grabbed Paige gently but firmly by the shoulders as she looked her once more in the eye.

"It's not the nightmares that are the problem Paige. It's that you won't talk to me. I want to help you but I can't and I don't know how much more I can take of you pushing me away." With a soft shake Alex released Paige's arms and turned away again.

"I love you Paige and I really don't think I'm asking for much. All I want is you to talk to me."

When she got no answer Alex closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck trying to ease the tension. She lay back down and reached over turning out the light blanketing the room in darkness again. She tensed a little when she felt Paige shift over to her but relaxed again when she felt the other girl's head resting on her chest. Instinctively her hand began threading through silky hair and tried to soothe both of their pain. She didn't stop even after she felt Paige lean into her more and her breathing evened out. Silence reigned over them both and Alex felt herself drifting, but soon Paige's quiet voice whispered something that would make sure Alex didn't sleep that night.

"I saw him Alex. The restraining order expired last week and he came to see me."

TBC….

**A/N: I edited things a bit as I finally figured out the timeline of things.**


	4. The Changing of the Guards

**A/N: Pay attention and you'll catch something important. Thanks to everyone who's replied. Enjoy! R&R please.**

It had been two weeks since Paige had told Alex about Dean coming to see her. And since then Paige had yet to have a moment to herself and frankly it was driving her nuts. She sighed as she glanced over at her girlfriend who was busy with school work behind the counter.

"Alex," she called trying to get the other girl's attention.

Seeing that Alex was still preoccupied with her studying Paige walked over to her and gently closed her textbook. Alex looked up in surprise.

"Paige, what is it?" Alex asked immediately.

Paige sighed again and tried desperately not roll her eyes as she thought of how to phrase what was on her mind.

"Sweetie, you know I love you and I know you're worried about me, but you don't need to rearrange your whole life around me."

Alex looked at her sweetly and leaned in for a brief kiss. Pulling back she laid her hand on top of Paige's and squeezed softly.

"Babe, you are my life." She murmured as she looked into Paige's eyes.

Feeling herself melt underneath her lover's sincere gaze Paige smiled and leaned back in for another kiss, this one longer than the last. They pulled apart when they heard someone clearing their throat. Paige turned around and found Ellie and Marco standing there smirking.

"Well, I see what really goes on in the store when Jimmy and Spin aren't here." Marco drawled grinning at his two friends as he walked over to them.

"Marco, Ellie, what are you guys doing here? I would have thought you'd both have enough t-shirts for now." Paige asked with a hint of suspicion in her voice.

Her raised eyebrow stopped whatever flippant comment Marco was about to make and Ellie had suddenly discovered that her shoes were a fascinating shade of black. The blonde looked back at Alex to see her gathering her books and putting them back in her bag.

"Alex? What's going on here?" Paige demanded folding her arms defiantly across her chest.

"I have some stuff that I promised I would do for my mom and I wanted to make sure you weren't alone while you closed the store." Alex said refusing to meet Paige's eyes knowing that she'd see anger there.

"Alex I don't need a babysitter." Paige turned and looked at her other two friends who were still standing there awkwardly. "Not that I don't appreciate what you're doing guys." She added trying not to seem bitchy and unreasonable.

Alex sighed and set her, now fully packed, bag on the counter. She rubbed her temples with her fingers a moment before looking over at her cohorts.

"Guys, excuse us a second will you?" Alex motioned towards Paige indicating that they needed to talk alone.

"Sure Alex, no problem." Ellie immediately agreed while grabbing a still speechless Marco and dragging him back out of the store.

Once they were gone Alex walked around the counter and stood in front of Paige. Her eyes were narrowed in irritation and Alex found herself sighing again. She reached out but was rebuffed when Paige backed up a step.

"Paige come on. What do you want me to do?" Alex asked in frustration. "You tell me that the man that raped you suddenly has carte blanche to visit you whenever he pleases and has already acted on it and you want me to just leave you by yourself."

"Alex, I get that you're worried but it's ok. I'm fine. He didn't even really say anything to me he just came in and said "Hi Spirit. Good to see you again." And when I mentioned the restraining order he handed me a notice that it had expired. Then he left. That's it. That is all that happened." During her speech Paige had walked over to one of the t-shirt tables and started nervously refolding things.

"Paige, he came here to scare you. And I'd say he did a damned fine job of it too seeing as how it gave you nightmares for three nights." Alex watched Paige's reaction and was confused as she thought she saw Paige mouth something. "What?"

"What, "What"?" Paige retorted continuing to fold.

"You said something. What did you say?" Alex pressed.

Apparently Paige had had enough of being questioned because she turned abruptly to face Alex, the shirt she'd been folding clenched in her hand.

"Enough Alex! Just enough. I don't need you constantly hounding me day in and day out about what I do or what I feel. What I decide is what I decide. I have a right to my own thoughts and my own privacy and I don't need you or anyone else trying to tell me what to do!" She turned quickly back to face the table but not quick enough for Alex to miss the tears that had formed in her eyes.

"I'm not questioning you Paige. I'm just," she paused and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm just worried about you. And not just because Dean came and saw you, but about how you handled seeing him again." Alex took a step forward and put her hand on Paige's arm. She was distressed when Paige jerked involuntarily away from her touch.

You said you wouldn't bring it up again." Paige whispered quietly. "You promised me you wouldn't."

"And that's a promise I never should have made Paige." Alex placed her hands on her girlfriend's waist and turned her around so they were facing once more. "I should have gotten you to tell me then, instead I didn't and it cost you three nights of horrible dreams and fear. I never should have let you go through that."

She pushed back a lock of blonde hair and looked into a pair of shimmering aqua eyes. She smiled in relief when Paige wrapped her arms around her, returning the embrace. They stood there awhile and Alex was about to pull away so she could go help her mom when she felt a tongue dart out and touch the hickey that still hadn't gone away as Paige kept attacking it.

"Paige." Alex breathed her hands tightening reflexively on Paige's waist. "Baby, I have to go. I promised my mo-"

Paige cut her off by sinking her teeth into that same spot and sucking softly. After a minute Paige pulled away and laved the spot with her tongue again. A few quick kisses along Alex's neck and up her jaw line and soon the girls were locked in a heated kiss.

Pulling away reluctantly Paige looked at Alex and smiled to see her flushed and short of breath. She brushed back some errant black hair and regarded the other girl carefully.

"I have a compromise to the whole "Changing of the guards" routine." She said smiling slightly.

"Oh yeah? Does it involve you, me and a bed we never leave?" Alex asked playfully darting in for another kiss.

"No," Paige gave Alex a mock admonishing look. "I know you want to make sure I'm alright, but what if instead of having Marco and Ellie waste their time here I just call them when I'm closing the store. That way they know when I'm leaving and about when I'll be home. I could call you as soon as I get home so you know I'm fine."

"You're not going to cooperate until I agree to it are you?" Alex asked leaning her head against Paige's.

"Nope." Paige responded with an impish grin. She tightened her hold on Alex and leaned down to nip her chin playfully.

"Ok, we'll try it your way but if I get the feeling that something's wrong you'll be back to me being a barnacle on your ass. Capiche?" Alex leaned in for another kiss, letting this one linger until they were both short of breath.

"Capiche." Paige said pulling away with a smile. "Go, help your mom and I'll see you at home. I love you." She pecked Alex on last time on the lips and waved her out the door.

"I love you too." Came the reply as Alex blew her a kiss and walked out the door.

Once outside Alex walked over to where Ellie and Marco were leaning against Marco's car.

"Ok you two, you can go. But expect a call from Paige when she closes up tonight. If you don't hear from her by ten call her and then call me alright?" Alex instructed.

"Ummm… ok, but I thought you wanted us to stay with her." Marco said looking confused.

"She sucker you again?" Came Ellie's sardonic question.

Alex shot Ellie a look of annoyance before replying. "No, we just agreed that she should be ok in the shop but she would call as soon as she left and then she'd call me once she got home so I'd know everything was cool."

Before either of them could answer Alex caught sight of Paige's mom making her way towards the shop.

"Hi Mrs. Michalchuk." Alex greeted politely.

Rose Michalchuk paused and regarded Alex for a moment, an unfamiliar look on her face before she nodded and returned the greeting. She looked at Ellie and Marco and smiled at them.

"Is Paige still inside?" She asked Marco.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah she is, there's still a couple of hours before closing time." He answered puzzled as to the exchange between Alex and Paige's mom.

"Thanks dear, I just need to talk to her about some things." And with that she disappeared inside leaving three very confused young adults out on the sidewalk.

"Ok, I don't even have time to contemplate that weirdness. I have to get to my mom's to help her pack some stuff to sell." Alex said somewhat distractedly. "I'll see you guys later." And with a wave she too was gone leaving Marco and Ellie by themselves.

"So what now?" Ellie asked him as she tried to wrap her mind around the last fifteen minutes.

"I have no idea. But I suggest we play it by ear and go rent some movies and await our dear Paigey's phone call." Marco answered trying to diffuse the awkwardness a bit.

And off they went, completely unaware of a presence quite close by.

"Oh Spirit, I have missed you." Dean smiled to himself before pulling away from the curb. He'd leave her tonight, but he still had plans for her yet.

TBC…


	5. Get Me Through

**A/N: Hello again. I own nothing. Thank you to the **_**2**_** people who reviewed last time.**

Paige sat in the darkened store aimlessly twirling a lock of hair around her finger. She looked at her watch and sighed as she saw how late it was. Marco and Ellie would be getting worried if she didn't call soon. But for some reason she just couldn't bring herself to go home just yet. She needed some time. She needed to be left alone. A lone tear traced its way down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily. A second tear followed only to get whipped away in the same frustrated manner. As more tears came she continued to wipe them away until finally she succumbed and let her body release the sadness inside. Sobs were wracking her body so hard she slid off her chair and onto the floor and buried her face in her knees. Thoughts of the last few weeks began racing through her mind.

"_Everyone thinks it's so easy being me. I know there are people out there who have it way tougher than I do, but still it's really hard knowing that love can be so conditional. Knowing that it's only bestowed upon you because you earned it by being what they wanted. Knowing that the minute you fuck up it's all just going to disappear."_

Shit. Had she really said that to Mel? Just how much had she revealed to Jay's girlfriend? Paige didn't think there had been that much said between them, or if there had Mel had been mercifully silent about telling Alex as the latter had not mentioned it to Paige. And surely if Alex knew the dark worries that plagued her, knew of the pain she was going through right now she would most definitely have mentioned it already.

Awhile later Paige finally won out against her emotions and managed to stop crying. She used her sleeve to scrub at her face and reached for her bag to get a tissue. As she pulled the bag towards her a soft clinking caught her attention. Opening the bag Paige gave a small chuckle. Inside amongst all her makeup and lotions was the one thing that seemed to be getting her through everything. She reached in and pulled out the small bottle of alcohol. Vodka this time.

She unscrewed the cap and took a sip letting the alcohol slide down her throat. Another, bigger mouthful soon followed the first and she smiled for the first time since Alex left earlier.

She smiled even more broadly as she thought of her girlfriend. Dark hair, so soft, so silky. The way it would tickle her skin when they made love. The contrast of it on the pillow next to Paige's own blond locks. Dark eyes that could penetrate Paige's soul and hid nothing of what Alex was feeling. Paige had become a master of reading Alex's eyes. The voice, the soft caressing voice that could reach Paige's heart no matter what. It even burst through the nightmare induced fear and wrapped Paige in such warmth and feelings of safety. The hands that slid against heated skin causing goosebumps and the lips that always followed creating fire in their wake.

Thoughts of that fire began to awaken certain sensations in Paige and she found herself drowning in them. She took another pull from the bottle and her head began to swim but her thoughts of Alex kept coming, assailing her in the most pleasurable ways. This continued for a time until Paige couldn't take it anymore. She was ready to go home, she had to go home and be with Alex. Everything else could go to hell for all she cared.

Slowly Paige stood up and leaned against the counter as the world spun around her. Everything seemed tilted at an angle and she giggled softly.

"Ooopsie, must have had a li'l to much." Paige said aloud and jumped when her voice echoed through the empty building.

She picked up the phone and dialed her home number. It rang once, twice and then Ellie's voice answered.

"Hello?"

Paige cleared her throat and concentrated, unwilling to let Ellie know just how tipsy she was.

"Hey El, it's me. Just calling to let you know I'm on my way out the door and I should be home in about fifteen minutes."

"Hey Paige. Good, I'm glad you called, I was about to call over there." Ellei replied sounding relieved.

"No problem, some stuff with inventory just took longer than I expected. Is uh.. is Alex home yet?" Paige asked not quite sure what she was hoping for as an answer.

"No not ye- Oh wait hang on she just walked in the door. I'll put her on." Paige could hear Ellie walking over to the front door and heard her tell Alex who was on the phone.

"Paige? You ok baby?" Alex asked, concern edging her voice.

"Yes Hon, I'm fine. I was just calling to check in like I said I would. I'll be home in a little while. Shouldn't take longer than-" Paige blinked rapidly as the room spun slightly. All this concentrating was taking a slight toll on her.

"Paige? Paige you there?" Alex's voice came over the line breaking through the dizziness.

"Yeah, I'm here, just got distracted for a second." Paige bit down on her lying tongue and felt guilt wash over her. She shook it off as her more immediate feelings of want began to make themselves known again. "So, I was thinking that when I get home maybe you and I could spend some quality time together." Paige bit her lip as she let the implication sink in.

"Quality huh? I think I can manage that." Alex laughed softly, the sound of it sending shivers down Paige's spine.

"Hmmm, yes quality time. Something we have been lacking as of late." The slightly inebriated woman replied still trying to talk coherently.

"I think Ellie and Marco would be more than happy to join us in a game of Monopoly."

There was brief pause in which Paige had to take the phone away from her ear and scowled at it. She could hear Alex laughing on the other line. She continued to scowl at it until she heard the laughter subside and Alex calling her name She put the phone back up to her ear.

"Paigey I'm only kidding." Alex must have known Paige was sulking on the other end because her voice dropped to a sultry tone. "I know what you meant and I think it's a great idea. Quality time. Just you and me, upstairs, in bed; sans clothing."

Paige could feel her breathing getting shallower as she listened to her lover speak. She had to consciously release the deathgrip she had on the phone as her fingers were starting to grow numb.

"Now that definitely sounds like a plan. Do you need anything while I'm still out?" Paige queried somewhat breathlessly.

"No, I just need you. Get home soon. Drive safe ok?" Alex's voice softened in affection and Paige felt her eyes well up again. God how she loved this woman.

"Ok Hon, I'll be home in about fifteen minutes. I love you." She felt Alex's smile even over the phone line.

"I love you too baby. See you then." Alex hung up and Paige hung on to the phone a moment just listening to the dial tone.

Putting the phone back on the cradle Paige gathered her things and walked out of the store locking up behind her. The crisp night air skimmed across her skin and made her shiver slightly. A small grin lit up her features and her nose crinkled in amusement when she thought of what she and Alex would soon be doing. All she had to do was get home. But first things first, she needed to go get some water and try to sober up a bit.

Across the street was a small convenience store where Paige figured she could buy a bottle or two of water and that should hydrate her enough so that she would be able to hide her earlier activities. Again feelings of guilt washed over as she thought about how much she was hiding from Alex but she pushed them aside. It was something she needed to deal with on her own, something she had promised to get over and she was going to keep that promise. Ok, so right now she needed a little extra help to get her through, but soon everything would be back to normal. For now, she just needed to stay as calm as possible and keep this to herself. People were a lot less likely to get hurt that way.

TBC…

**A/N: Ok, I'm a little frustrated folks… at least 200-300 new views since I posted the last chapter and I get **_**2**_** replies? So here is the deal… any less than 3 replies and my muse will starve and I will unfortunately have to place this fic on hiatus. If you like it clap your hands and say "I do believe in your fics. I do, I do." See, you can even cut and paste that into the review box, just leave me something so I know people aren't just accidentally landing on my story.**


	6. Attachment

**A/N: Thank you all. I now know people are actually reading this story on purpose. My muse is getting positively obese from all the wonderful replies. Now, as I'm sure some have noticed I have enabled the anonymous replies, however I will disable it if I get people without any balls popping in and saying "You suck." Honestly, if you feel the need to flame, grow a backbone and do it, don't hide behind anonymity. However, if you are shy and wish to leave a lovely review, please feel free to remain anonymous, but just know I do like to know who to thank when I get positive feedback. Thank you all so much again. And please don't forget to reply. I will again provide a cut and paste reply for any who are shy or bad at constructive feedback at the end of the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I own nothing. K? Are you happy now stupid disclaimer gods?**

**The House:**

Paige arrived within the allotted fifteen minute time span that she told everyone she would be home in. She had guzzled a full liter bottle of water and was no longer feeling dizzy. Her tongue still felt a little thick and she really had to pee but all in all she was doing fine. She pulled the vodka bottle out of her purse and shoved it into her glovebox and then popped a few mints to try and cover up any aftertaste she might still have in her mouth. She hurriedly got out of her car and made her way into the house.

"Hey everyone." Paige greeted as soon as she was inside. She tore off her coat and tossed it in the general direction of the coat rack and let her purse land heavily on the floor. She was about to head upstairs when she felt arms wrap around her from behind.

"Hey Baby," a soft voice purred in her ear.

Normally Paige would tease her lover but right now, she just didn't have time.

"Hon, one sec ok? I really, really have to pee." With that said she wriggled out of Alex's embrace, placed a sloppy half kiss on her mouth and ran up the stairs to the bathroom.

Alex leaned against the front door and laughed quietly to herself. She was headed towards the stairs when she realized that Paige's purse had spilled in her haste to get upstairs. Alex bent down to retrieve the items and place them back where they belonged but stopped when she found prospectuses from University of Reyerson, U of T, George Brown College, Centennial College and Sheridan College. She thumbed through them and saw that all of them had the Business Course highlighted.

'_Is Paige thinking of going back for Business school? I thought she decided to give that up.' _Alex wondered to herself. She tapped the brochures softly against her palm and decided she would talk to Paige about it.

"Did I hear Paige?" Marco asked as he walked out of the kitchen. He eyed the pamphlets in Alex's hands. "I know you're planning on college Alex but I had no idea…" He started with a grin on his face but stopped when Alex shook her head.

"Not mine, Paige's. They fell out of her purse when she took off for the bathroom. I was gonna go talk to her, I mean she hasn't really mentioned anything about school since she got back so I don't know." Alex shrugged somewhat helplessly.

Marco smiled in understanding. He patted Alex on the arm reassuringly. Alex watched as he grabbed his coat and shrugged it on.

"Going out?" She asked with one eyebrow arched.

The Italian boy grinned at her knowingly. "I overheard a bit of your conversation with Paige on the phone. Ellie's already left to spend the night at Jesse's and I'm headed over to my folks place so you two will have the whole house to yourselves. Ya know for some, "quality time"." He smirked as he made little quotation marks with his fingers.

Alex swatted playfully at him as he bounded out the door wishing her a good time. She felt a presence behind her as she shut the door and she turned spotting Paige standing on the bottom step looking at her innocently.

"Was that Marco leaving?" She asked pointing at the door.

Alex nodded and walked over to the blonde handing her the shiny catalogues with a questioning look.

"Those fell out of your purse." Alex said looking into sky blue eyes and answering the unspoken question. "I thought you were taking a break from school for awhile." She added taking Paige's hand and drawing circles on it with her thumb.

"Yeah, well my mom's not too clear on what "taking a break" from school really means so she's been kind of hounding me about it."

"Ah." Came the short reply as understanding lit up brown eyes. "I see. Speaking of your mom, I saw her today. Outside the store when I was leaving to go to my mom's place." She paused to bring Paige's knuckles to her lips giving them a small kiss.

"Oh yeah?" Paige asked refusing to be baited into anything.

"Yeah, and I have to tell you it was kind of strange. She gave me the weirdest look when I said hi. Kind of like she didn't know whether she should answer me or not." Alex drew Paige towards her and down off the step so that they were now level with each other.

Paige sighed softly and sank into Alex's embrace wrapping her own arms around the brunette's shoulders.

"Well you know my mom. Always distracted." Paige offered as she kissed Alex's jaw.

"Yeah, but with Marco and Ellie she seemed just fine." Alex protested trying not to let herself get distracted by her girlfriend's ministrations.

Paige latched onto the red mark on Alex's neck again and smiled softly to herself as Alex moaned at the sensation. The whole time her mouth attacked Alex's neck, Paige let her hands roam around Alex's back. Her palms splayed out taking in the expanse of the other woman's lower back. Gently and slowly she massaged the muscles there and felt Alex relax into it, her body beginning to lean heavily into Paige's.

Relinquishing her hold on Alex's neck Paige moved her attentions up to Alex's ear, taking the lobe lightly in her teeth and nibbling carefully. She pulled back and looked at Alex smiling when she saw how hazy her eyes had grown.

"I love you." Alex whispered as she leaned into kiss Paige. But she was denied as the blonde moved her lips out of the way and instead placed a soft kiss oh Alex's cheek.

Alex groaned in dissatisfaction and tried again to catch her lover's lips, but again she was denied. Paige kept placing slow, soft kisses all over Alex's face and neck. During all this Paige's hands had kept moving. One stayed on Alex's back, continuing the massage, while the other had snaked up into Alex's hair and lightly scratched along her scalp.

Alex's hands tightened reflexively on Paige's waist and she pulled the other woman closer relishing in the feel of Paige's soft curves yielding to her own. She pushed against Paige hoping to get the girl to pull back a bit so Alex could kiss her, but instead she simply held on tighter and they wound up with Paige's back meeting the wall by the stairs. And still the tender kisses continued to be rained everywhere but where Alex needed them most. Her head swimming, Alex closed her eyes and smiled as Paige left feather light kisses on her eyelids.

Again Alex tried to pull back to kiss her girlfriend but was denied a third time. This was as frustrating as it was pleasurable, but the Latina knew how to get what she wanted. She pushed Paige back a little bit harder against the wall and bucked her hips slightly against her torturer's. Just as she knew would happen Paige gasped and pulled back slightly This was the opening Alex was looking for.

Raising her hands to Paige's face Alex cupped her cheeks and gazed at her affectionately. Locking eyes with Paige, Alex leaned in and kissed her with undeniable passion. When Paige's eyes started to flutter closed Alex nudged her hips again and the now emerald eyes shot open once more. Alex kept her gaze fixed on Paige as she ravished the fair-haired woman's mouth. Paige tried to pull back, wanting to regain control but Alex refused to let her go. Her tongue swept the recesses of Paige's mouth capturing each sigh and savoring it. Finally, when her lungs could take no more, Alex tore her lips from Paige's and inhaled deeply. She heard the other woman drawing in breath rapidly and could feel their heartbeats pounding in a furious tempo.

"Who won?" Alex asked breathlessly as she stared at Paige.

Paige smirked at her. "I did of course." And she leaned back in taking possession of Alex's lips reverting control back to the blonde.

On and on they kissed feverishly, each displaying their dominance only to have it swept aside by the other. Passion sparked each neuron and desire lay heavy within every caress.

During one of her moments of domination Alex slid her hands under Paige's shirt. Normally Paige was warm, but in this moment her skin felt as though it was burning Alex's palms and she gorged herself on it. Reveled in the sensation of heated silk, smooth, soft and inviting.

"Ah,Alehes." Paige mumbled against Alex's lips. She pulled back but Alex held her bottom lip between her teeth. Paige darted back in quickly to distract her and once her lip was free she pulled back again smiling when the brunette nipped at empty air.

"Upstairs Hon." She managed to get out before Alex caught her lips again. As Alex's hand roamed over Paige's skin Paige began to wonder if Alex had even heard her. Just as she was about to pull away to make her request a second time Alex released her hold and grabbed the blonde's wrist heading quickly up the stairs to their bedroom.

**Michalchuk's House**

Rose Michalchuk sat in her office staring at her computer screen. The cursor on her word program kept blinking at her waiting for her to actually type something. She was supposed to be working on the Fortier report but right now all she could think about was Paige. Rose sighed and leaned back in her chair thinking back to the conversation that still plagued every encounter she had with her daughter.

_Paige looked up from her plate of food and looked at her mother with an intensity that was unfamiliar to the older woman._

"_Paige honey are you all right? You've hardly touched your dinner and you've been remarkably quiet this evening."_

"_Umm... no, I'm not ok. Or I am but I'm not really sure how to say this." The youngest Michalchuk said shifting her eyes from her mother to her father._

"_Whatever it is Paige it's fine, you can tell us." Dmitri Michalchuk said looking over the top of his glasses at his little girl._

"_Ok, well I... um I wanted you to know that I'm seeing someone now. I have been for about five weeks." Paige waited for the inevitable questions and her mother did not disappoint._

"_Oh Paige that's wonderful!" Rose gushed as she smoothed a piece of Paige's hair down. "Who is it? Is it that nice boy Gavin you dated in high school or is it someone new?"_

"_No Mom, it's not Spinner, but it is someone I've dated before." Paige said looking down and toying with the chicken on her plate._

"_Oh God, please tell me it's not that Matt Oleander again...Paige you nearly lost your entire school year because of him."_

"_No, no Mom, it's not Matt either." Paige hastened to explain. "No, ummm... in fact it's not a guy at all." She dared a look at her parents._

_Dmitri's eyebrows were drawn together as he waited for Paige to continue but Rose was beside herself._

"_Not a guy? What do you mean not a guy?"The older woman's voice got shrill as she questioned her daughter._

"_Paige, you said you dated this girl before. When was that?" Dmitri asked calmly. He had gone through this with Dylan and had almost ruined his relationship with his son by not being supportive, he wasn't about to make the same mistake with his daughter as well._

_Paige looked at her father with gratitude before looking back down at her plate. She took a deep breath and looked her mother in the eye._

"_It's Alex. I'm seeing Alex. We dated for about three and a half months last year before school ended. We broke up before graduation and since I've been back we've..." she paused in her explanation seeking the right word, "since then we've reconnected."_

"_Alex?" Rose queried. "Alex as in your friend from the movie theater? The girl from the broken home, is that the Alex you mean?"_

"_Mom don't be a snob about this. I really care about her and she means a lot to me." Paige protested visibly tensing._

"_I'll just bet she does. Tell me Paige just what was on your mind while you were away at school? Were you actually thinking about work or that – that girl?" Rose spat out waving her hand dismissively._

"_Stop that! You don't even know her and you're judging her. Why is that Mom? Because she doesn't fit into the theme that you've created for __**my**__ life?" Paige asked standing up from the table abruptly._

"_Paige honey sit down please." Dmitri motioned for Paige to sit back down before turning to his wife. "Rose you need to calm down about this. This isn't doing anybody any good for us to start yelling and it is Paige's decision."_

_Rose Michalchuk felt her face getting hot as she swept a blazing gaze between her husband and her daughter._

"_Her decision Dmitri? Her decision? Well obviously our daughter is not exactly what one would classify as being capable of making trustworthy or informed decisions. Or have you forgotten her driving Gavin's car into Dean's and losing her license? Or perhaps you've forgotten about her fling with the teacher's assistant? Or maybe you've forgotten about the College Fair where our daughter decided it would be a good idea to get stoned?"_

"_I didn't just wake up and decide to get stoned that day Mom, I did it because it was the only way to-" Paige trailed off realizing that to finish that sentence would only make matters worse._

"_Only way to what Paige? Almost ruin your entire life?I mean has that been your goal all along?" Rose could barely speak she was shaking with anger._

"_Why is it such a problem for you that I'm dating Alex? Why does that bother you so much?" Paige asked her eyes beginning to shine with tears. _

"_Rose, really I think that's enough for tonight. We can all discuss this later once we've all calmed down." Dmitri got up and walked over to his wife placing his hands on her shoulders. Rose shook them off in an agitated way._

"_You want to know what the problem is Paige? All right, I'll tell you. I've sat here for the better part of two months watching you waste your life and your talents at some rundown t-shirt shop, you threw away your career at Banting but at least you could look a little harder into getting back into school. And up until now I have been patient with you about all of this thinking that eventually you would come to your senses and now you tell me that you're throwing away any chance at a normal, happy life for some – some trailer park refugee? And you want me to be all right with that?"_

_Paige hadn't said anything, just stood up shaking with pent up emotion. She backed away from the table quickly, knocking over her chair in the process. She turned and walked out of the dining room without looking back._

_Dmitri followed her out of the room concern written all over his features._

_Rose sat where she was at the table and listened as their voices carried from by the front door._

"_Paige, sweetie it's all right. You're mother, she's just surprised. This is quite a shock. I mean we never knew you were dating Alex last year. I mean really it's like we sort of lost touch with you. So of course this is a surprise." _

"_Don't Dad, just don't. Don't make excuses for her. It never changes! It's always been like this and I just can't do it anymore. I have so much on my mind already right now and you know who's been getting me through it? Alex, that's who. She loves me Dad. She really loves me and it doesn't matter to her that I dropped out of school, it just matters that I'm happy. And she makes me happy. I don't care if this is a surprise to you guys, I won't sit there and listen to anyone talk about Alex that way. Like she's not good enough, like she isn't a person even. I just won't do it."_

_After that Rose heard the front door slam and Dmitri making his way back to the dining room. His blue eyes were troubled as he regarded his wife._

"_You always push Rose. You push and you push until the other person pushes back. Well up until now Paige has always just moved wherever you pushed her but now she's pushing back too. Are you really that willing to lose your daughter because her choices don't match the plans you've made?"_

_And without another word he walked out of the room and downstairs to the familyroom leaving Rose alone with piles of untouched food and echoes of disappointment._

For a week Dmitri had barely spoken to his wife so Rose decided to swallow her pride a little and reach out to Paige again. She really did love her daughter, it's just that Paige had so much potential and Rose had worked so hard to raise her into a successful young woman. So they met for coffee or lunch and Rose would bring along prospectuses for Paige to look at and Paige would take them mutely and nothing would be said about that night. But it's bitterness lingered between them and it didn't look like it was going away any time soon.

A crash from the next room startled Rose from her thoughts. She jumped up from her chair and hurried into her bedroom.

"Dmitri?" she called as she reached the doorway. "She looked around but saw nothing.

Stepping further into the room she put her hands to her mouth in shock. There was Dmitri lying on the floor clutching his arm and grimacing in pain. Rose raced over to him grabbing her cell phone off the dresser as she passed by. Immediately she dialed 911.

"Yes operator this is Rose Michalchuk at 1301 South Hillcrest. I think my husband is having a heartattack."

She waited as the emergency operator entered in the information. Looking down Rose saw that Dmitri's face was ashen and his hand that she clutched tightly in hers was cold and clammy.

"Yes, yes thank you." Rose said as she hung up the phone and waited for the ambulance to arrive. She ran her hand down Dmitri's face and crooned softly to him.

Not long after Rose heard the sirens in the distance and rapidly approaching her home. She raced downstairs to unlock the door and lead the medical personnel up to her husband. They loaded him onto a gurney and whisked him out the door with Rose following closely behind.

As she climbed into the back of the ambulance she dialed Paige's cell phone and waited for her daughter to answer.

**The House**

Paige and Alex were making their way up the stairs, their bodies never losing contact, when Paige heard her cell phone go off. She reluctantly pulled her lips from Alex's and sighed.

"That's my mom's ring. I should probably get that."

"Paige she probably just wants to meet you to give you more catalogues for college. Just leave it for tonight." Alex mumbled as her lips brushed against the side of Paige's neck.

"You think so?" Paige asked already losing focus.

"Mmhmm." Alex murmured continuing her exploration of Paige's skin.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Paige pulled back and grinned before planting a solid kiss on Alex's lips and walking backward up the stairs leading Alex onto their quality time.

Meanwhile downstairs Paige's phone echoed in the dark. An electronic plea for help that would, for now, go unheeded.

TBC...

**A/N: I was going to have this chap be the one that had the fic live up to its rating but the familial problems needed to be addressed first.**

**Cut and Paste Reply : ****Squee! Write more please. I'm hooked.**


	7. Heart Attacks and Hidden Agendas

**A/N: This is where you get a little better sense of Dean and just what his objectives to Paige are. Careful now... you will be entering the mind of a madman. Please read and reply.**

**Hospital**

Rose Michalchuk sat in quietly in a waiting room in the cardiology wing of the local hospital. Her cell phone was clutched desperately in her hands as she waited for it to vibrate signaling a call from her daughter. She shifted her feet slightly, noting with a fleeting detachment how the residue from a recent waxing caused her sensible shoes to stick to the tiles. She drew in a shallow breath through her nose as she looked towards the room they had taken her husband. A quiet voice startled her from her staring and she turned drawing back in shock as she recognized the speaker.

"You! What are you doing here?" She lashed out with all her pent up stress and anger at the young man in front of her. He seemed almost unfazed except for the slightly hurt look on his face.

"I was going to ask you the same thing Mrs. Michalchuk. Did something happen to Paige?" Dean, the boy from Bardell who had ra- had taken advantage of Paige asked as he put his hands in his pockets.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? She must have made it very difficult for you what with the trial and then wrecking your car." Rose spat at him surprised as he recoiled.

Dean looked down at the ground and was about to speak but a woman in a suit came striding up to him with a card in her hand.

"Dean, I'm glad I ran into you. You forgot your appointment card earlier today." The woman handed the young man the card and then hurried on without so much as a backward glance.

Dean turned back to Rose and regarded her carefully. "I'm not here to bother anyone. My grandmother is in the room down the hall, something wrong with her pace maker. I just saw you sitting here on my way out for the night and I wanted to see if everything was alright."

Rose searched his face for any trace of deceit but found none. He seemed to be genuinely concerned. She decided to hedge her bets just the same.

"No, it's not Paige. She's- " Rose paused a moment to consider her words. "She's fine. It was her father, I think he had a heart attack. I've been trying to get ahold of Paige with no luck so far."

He nodded and backed away slowly. "Well then I really should be going. When you do get in touch with her I'm sure she'll rush over and I'm going to be the last person she'll want to see especially in such a stressful situation. Not that I can blame her at all. I just-" He stopped and then looked Rose directly in the eye. "I can't ever make up for what I did to your daughter and she has every right to hate me forever. I am sorry though. I just want you to know that."

And then he was gone. Down the hallway and out the exit and out of sight.

"Rose?." Startled for the second time in a short period Rose whirled around rather frantically. She saw her husband's doctor holding a chart.

"Yes Gerome, you have some news on Dmitri's condition?"

Gerome Livingston looked at Rose Michalchuk, a grim look on his face. He took in her dishevelment and had to admit he was a little surprised to find her less than perfect coiffed.

"It's been a long night for both of us, let's go get some coffee and we can go over Dmitri's condition." He laid a gentle but guiding hand on her shoulder and pulled her towards the elevator. As they moved away from the bank of chairs Rose looked down at the ground and noticed the appointment card that woman had handed Dean. He must have dropped it on his way out. She picked it up and read it.

Dr. Amelia Rosenbaum DPM. Tues. 3:00 pm.

'_DPM? What does that stand for?'_ Rose wondered silently before voicing her curiosity to Dr. Livingston.

"DPM stands for Doctor of Psychiatric Medicine. Why do you ask?" The doctor inquired in distracted tones.

"Oh, nothing. Just something I heard somewhere and I wondered that's all." Rose murmured.

_'So he's seeing a psychiatrist. Maybe he's finally going to get help. Maybe somebody's finally going to get to the bottom of why he felt the need to take advantage of a little girl.' _ But somehow even during her silent recriminations she couldn't help but be happy for the young man. He seemed to be moving along while accepting responsibility for his mistakes, which was more than her daughter had done. Thinking again of Paige made Rose grip her phone, still clutched in her cold fingers, even more tightly. Why hadn't she called back?

**Paige and Alex's Room**

Alex lay on her back staring at the ceiling. Her mouth curled into a smile even as her breath came in spurts. Paige crawled out from under the covers and wrapped a sheet around herself as she looked down at her tired lover. She moved a strand of dark hair off of Alex's face and kissed her gently before pulling back with a grin.

"I told you I'd win that one."

Alex swallowed audibly and let her eyes roam over Paige's form.

"First off, why must everything be a contest with you? And second, you cheated." Alex leaned up and pecked the blonde's nose affectionately.

"Excuse me? How did I cheat?" Paige scoffed as she ran a hand down the length of Alex's torso.

The brunette arched her back as the caresses continued. She reached down and grabbed the source of her distraction and kissed the palm.

"Paigey, we had a wager on who could outlast the other one. You agreed to not do the tongue thing because you know what it does to me. Yet you used it despite your promise."

"Hmm." Paige sighed with a smile. "I prefer to think of it as _in spite of_ my promise. And really, you can't tell me you're that upset over losing."

Alex rolled over quickly pinning Paige's body with her own. She pulled on the sheet covering her girlfriend.

"Oh you can bet Paigey, I am very glad I lost that little competition. However, since you cheated I think a little discipline is in order."

Paige chuckled as she took in the implied "threat". Wrapping her arms around her dark haired beauty she pulled the other woman closer.

"Oh yes Alex, punish me really. I deserve it." Aquamarine eyes looked into brown as they sparkled mischievously.

"Alright, since you agree..." Alex trailed off as she rolled off Paige and got up from the bed.

"What-" The blonde began in shock before Alex interrupted her.

"I think I'll go sleep in Ellie's room."

She moved towards the door but found her path blocked.

"I don't think so Miss Nunez." Paige said as her eyes narrowed to slits.

Alex folded her arms over her chest and regarded the other woman nonchalantly.

"You agreed to it Paige."

Paige grabbed Alex's hips and gave them a gentle shove back towards the bed and it wasn't long before the Latina was pinned beneath her lover as kisses were planted along her neck.

"Paaaaaige." Alex whined as she pushed ineffectually at Paige's shoulders. Not that she was actually trying anyway.

"Alex, you and I both know that sometimes I make choices that aren't good for anybody. Now, however, I'm making a choice that I think will benefit us both."

She trailed kisses along Alex's exposed skin and grinned to herself when she heard Alex moan in half hearted protest.

"You're cheating again."

**Hospital Parking Lot**

Dean sat in his car staring at the exit he had come from. He wondered how long Paige's mother would be inside. He also wondered how long it would be before Spirit showed up. He smiled to himself when he thought of the fear and anger on Rose Michalchuk's face when she saw him at first and then the cautious trust she extended when he offered his apology. She was going to be so easy to manipulate. He hadn't dropped his psychiatrists card for nothing. He wanted Rose to know that he was getting "help". Not that it had been up to him. But after that little bitch up at Blakely Prep had made threats of pressing charges against him, Dean's parents had forced him into counseling to avoid a scandal.

"Huh. Not like she was that good anyway. Not nearly as feisty as someone I know." He muttered to himself as he continued to sit in the dark parking lot.

He kept thinking about Paige, everyone had advised him to move on but there was something about her that drew him to her. And now that the restraining order was up he could pretty much do as he pleased. He didn't know if he wanted to make her life a nightmare or if he wanted another shot at her. He'd meant it when he said she had been good that night. He had been watching her for months now, had seen how her body had grown and matured...had seen the way Waterboy looked at her and it was obvious he had a shot and fucked it up. And he'd seen how the dark haired girl she was with now behaved. It was pretty clear that his Spirit had experience outside of himself and he planned on making the most of it.

He chuckled to himself. Watching Spirit make out with another girl had been pretty hot. Briefly he thought about involving the girlfriend but he shook that thought away. Getting Paige was enough, he decided. And then he would make her pay for all that she had put him through.

Dean sat back and waited for his quarry's arrival.

**University House Livingroom**

Paige wandered downstairs t get some water. She was tired but it was definitely a good tired. She and Alex had made up for the missed "quality time" they had been suffering from as of late and now Alex was sleeping soundly. On her way to the kitchen Paige heard a beeping from her purse. She recognized it as her cell phone letting her know that she had voicemail.

_'I guess I should see what my mom wants.' _ Paige thought with reluctance.

She dug the cell phone out of her purse and after flipping it open dialed the number to her voicemail box. She listened to the message for a moment and then dropped the phone. Her father had had a heart attack and was at the hospital and her mom had been trying to get ahold of for the last three hours.

Paige stood silently for a moment, her body unable to move. A noise on the stairs drew her attention and she saw Alex standing there in a pair of sweats and a tanktop not unlike the ones Paige herself had thrown on to come downstairs. Curious brown eyes questioned her silently.

"I have to go to the hospital. My mom found my dad having a heart attack. Or at least that's what they think it is and I need to go be with her." Paige said in a surprisingly steady voice.

Running on automatic Paige grabbed her keys and headed for the door but was stopped by a hand being laid softly on her arm.

"Alex I have to g-" But she was interrupted by the feel of a coat being placed over her shoulders and the keys being taken from her hand.

Paige slipped on the coat and followed Alex as she walked out into the chilly night headed for Paige's car. So deep in thought and worry for her father it never occurred to Paige that perhaps Alex's presence would not be a good thing given the situation between her and her mother. All that she could think about was her father and how she prayed he was going to be all right.

TBC...

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I was really stuck as to how I wanted to approach this chapter. I hope you enjoyed and I will try not to take so long next time.**


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